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Fear in August 2025
My husband filed for divorce the same day my mother went back into the ICU for internal bleeding. I felt my world fall apart, it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. I knew what to do. I prayed. When my emotions are so strong, I struggle to make sense of my prayers but I pray. In those…
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August 20th 2025
In the spring I ordered two rosemary plants. When they arrived I planted one immediately. I figured even if it died I had a second one. I held onto the second rosemary plant. I didn’t want to lose it. Each day I would think about where I should plant it. I never found the perfect…
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August 21st 2025
I’m about to watch the first part of praying strategically with Pastor B. Mom just accidentally sent a message that was supposed to go to my sister to me. It ended with “as much as she states she’s ok, I don’t think she is.” That is something I am struggling with as well. I do…
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Only God knows..
Only God knows my pain. Only God knows my heart. I could spend a lifetime writing about the pain in an attempt to have someone understand. I could explain until I was blue in the face, but no one, besides God, would understand. Even if someone did understand they couldn’t do a thing about it.…
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Battles that weren’t mine
I was wore out from fighting battles that weren’t mine. I was carrying baggage that was never mine to hold. Somewhere I began to think that I could do God’s job better than him. I was trying to change my husband,I was trying to force him into the man I thought God wanted him to…
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August 20th 2025
I wanted to call Pastor KN and tell him about the large check, I wanted to ask him what I should be praying regarding K. I wanted to know if the check, and the idea of the check were a gift from God. But, I’m not supposed to be seeking outside validation. I will only…
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I don’t regret it.
I don’t regret it. I don’t regret what I’ve done. I don’t regret the chances I’ve given. I don’t regret the mistakes I’ve made. I don’t regret the time I’ve spent. It’s all brought me to where I need to be. It’s all brought me here. I have faith that God has put me exactly…
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August 19th 2025
I did seduce K yesterday. I did not have intercourse with him but I did give him a release. Unfortunately I forgot about myself. Afterwards he did offer to give me a release but it felt forced and I couldn’t get there. In the evening my friend (who lives with me) went to a friend’s…
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August 18th, 2025
Today was A LOT. A friend and I were talking about money. I told him that I still felt like I was getting a big check. Then my dad called saying I got a certified letter in the mail, so I went to Mom and Dad’s. It was a letter basically saying I was going…
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August 17th 2025
I don’t know what has gotten into me but I want to love on my soon to be ex-husband, maybe it’s hormones. Maybe it’s healing, or maybe it’s just toxic. I do not desire for him to come back home or anything like that. I still am very happy with the separation but just tonight…